假面宅。Labyrinth

剛剛在別人的部落格裡看到的，覺得蠻好笑就轉過來了．．．雖然好笑但也有其道理。

轉自：Loveless Forever

1. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
   
2. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
3. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.
4. We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
5. War does not determine who is right – only who is left.
6. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.＊＊＊＊＊
7. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
8. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
9. Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
10. I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
11. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
12. If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong.
13. Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks ofcaptivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pooland throw them fish?　（是人類太自以為是了）
14. Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them towalk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sitdown and shut-up.
15. Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
16. A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.
17. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
18. Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.＊＊＊＊＊＊
19. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
20. Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
    
21. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says “If anemergency, notify:” I put “DOCTOR”. What’s my mother going to do?
22. God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
23. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
    
24. Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
25. My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
26. Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.＊＊＊＊＊
    
27. Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.　（金錢不是萬能，但沒有了它就萬萬不能）
28. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

PS 粗體的是我很喜歡的幾個，特別是後面打了* 的幾句～～